one in a million

Death

2012-01-30T17:21:00.003-06:00

I haven't had the motivation to do much of anything lately, let alone blog. But when something hits me, I just need to get those emotions out. I'm sure Curtis has had enough of listening to me on this lovely subject and unfortunately not everyone likes talking about it, so it's not really a "making conversation" type topic.

So what is this loverly topic I type about?
Death.
Yep, that's right that 5 letter word, so final and so gloomy.

I entered into the health care industry at the age of 18. Just starting nursing at university. Not ever having had any hands on experience. I recall crying in my apartment by myself as I put my new scrubs on getting ready to head to my first orientation and on the job training. I remember cursing my activity facilitator mother for having suggested my name to the manager.

Now, about two months in to my new career choice we had a resident pass away. Not on my shift, not anywhere near any of my very casual picked up shifts. But it rocked me. Someone who had been a living, breathing person was gone. Just like that.

Now I have moved on to a few more places and having moved to Medicine Hat I've started working at the hospital. Where we have totally healthy people, some slightly unstable and on the rare occasion a palliative patient or two.

Usually with a passing I take it well. I'll tear up a little bit, maybe cry at home just with the emotions of things. I'm just years into my nursing career and I can't remember how many deaths I've experienced. And after a while I am afraid it has hardened me some. At some point in the past 4 years post mortem care, the saying "I'm so sorry for your loss" and morgues have become not heart thumping things. And that makes me sad. Sad for those who loose, sad that the line at Tim's keeps going while people are so raw and grieving, sad that it doesn't faze me anymore and sad that the Obituaries are the first and only page I read in a newspaper.

My only hope and prayer in all of this is that my faith allows me to think about the happiness a passing brings. We just had a recent death where a family member said it was happy that they got to go to heaven at Christmas.

If only I can keep that kind of optimism for the years to come.

White Sandy Beaches

2011-11-09T01:17:00.002-06:00

Curtis and I never really got a true honeymoon. We did three days at a resort thing back home in Manitoba and then had to pack up our life and move out here. So, we're hoping that two and a half years late we will make some great memories.

It looks like we're going to Cancun in mid-February and I can not wait! We're looking at the El Cid Resort in Cancun Mexico.I'm so excited that we're going to get a week to just chill, do nothing except be together. I think it's something as a couple with non corresponding schedules it will do a whole lotta good.

In other news Christmas is a comin! I was out shopping today and decided to switch up my decorating from my usual silver and blue and use those colors as base and add in some green, pink and purple. Curtis says it's not the Christmas he grew up with but I think it'll be pretty fun and fresh for the holidays.

And that's all for now. I'm looking as starting some weekly blog ideas, so stay tuned for some hopefully good changes!

Two posts in one day... What!

2011-10-14T22:30:00.003-05:00

You've got to watch this.
What a wonderful, amazing Father we have.

Oh, long lost friend!

2011-10-14T20:27:00.002-05:00

Well hello there!

Obviously life has been crazy! Buttt good news, I go back to my halftime position November 15! So that means that life will be greatly slower. Which will hopefully equal out to more school work and more blogging!

No promises though ;)

And now for some fun. A little bit of ABC's.

Age: 21... yeah yeah, i'm a child

Bed size: Queen

Chores that you hate: Laundry, and with a passion

Dogs: I love pom-chis, or mini eskimo, or anything cute. Not my crazy mad Chai-baby cat.

Essential to start your day: 5 more mins of sleep haha

Favorite color: pink?

Gold or silver: silver

Height: around 5'3"

Instruments you play: piano and maybe sax still...

Job title: Nursing Attendant

Kids: yes, what about them ;)

Live: bait? I don't understand

Mothers name: Wanda aka Mama Bear aka Vanda

Nicknames: Jo, Joni, and an unmentionable name my sisters and husband call me!

Overnight hospital stays: when I got my tonsils out a few years back I ended up in a hospital bed for about a week

Pet peeves: stupid. and driving frickin ten kms under the speed limit in the left lane! no wonder there is road rage!!

Quote from a movie or TV show: "I'm not, and don't call me Shirley!"

Right or lefty: Right

Siblings: Allison, Adrienne and Nic Nac Paddy Whack

Time you wake up: 10, it's my internal alarm clock time

Underwear: anything la senza

Vegetable you hate: turnip, though not really hate just not my favorite

What makes you run late: everything. literally. i grew up as a late lennox

X-rays you've had: teeth, foot, ankle

Yummy food you make: everything! ha

Zoo animal: monkey. oh soooo cute

<><

Wake me up when September ends

2011-09-01T11:50:00.003-05:00

Well the crazyness known as August has finally came to an end.

Yesterday I went up to Calgary with my darling sister to get all four wisdom teeth yanked out of my jaw. Unfotunately she had to deal with me whining and being drugged, but she also got the joy of listening to me ramble on in my drugged state.

Today though, I stink, have greasy hair, fat cheeks, living off of Boost and talk like a mush mouth....

And in a matter of a few hours we're packing up the truck and heading to Manitoba to go see the family for the long weekend.

I'm stoked to see everyone, but i'm sure the eight hour car ride is not going to be too great.

So, have any of you out there had your wisdom teeth out? If so, how long did you feel like absolut crapola?

Right now the surgery doesn't seem worth it because of the pain i'm in, but I'm sure it'll be worth it... atleast that's what I keep telling myself...

Love Dare

2011-08-05T21:51:00.002-05:00

Well, I must've been scatterbrained when I posted last, because I just noticed the typo in my title, and usually I'm pretty OCD about stuff life that! Ohsa wells.

I've been doing the 40 Day Love Dare, starting this past Sunday. Curt and I have both been working so much, feeling overwhelmed and I know getting on each others nerves, so with our 2nd Anniverary coming up on Monday I thought why not give our relationship a little gift!

I'd heard about Love Dare a while back and actually bought the wedding version for my friend's wedding last weekend (which was a wonderful time by the way!). So I found a free online version of it at http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/01/06/Day-1-of-The-Love-Dare.aspx

So i'm on Day 5, and it is wonderful! I love how it challenges you every day with a "dare" that is easily doable but each day adds another to the previous dares. I'm hoping that by the end of the forty days the dares aren't a challenge anymore and that they're a life change. We all can be to quick to answer or too negative far too often and I'm optimistic this will be a small change. :)

I'm such a slaker!

2011-07-19T17:34:00.002-05:00

Man oh man am I lazy lately. Pretty much work, sleep rinse, repeat.

It's been so hot. Sitting above 30 for over a week and I think that's what's draining me! Atleast that's what I'm telling myself.

This upcoming month is going to be a crazy one. I have to have two exams done my August 5th. We head to Kelowna next week for my wonderful friends wedding. I head up to Edmonton in the middle of August for a week doing clinicals. Then August 22nd I get to go get beat up by a surgeon. AKA get all four of my impacted wisdom teeth out! Thennnn September long we're headed home for a weekend of anniversary and birthday celebrations.

Whew. That wears me out just writing about it.

I don't do well with stress and remember growing up having meltdowns when I got too much on my plate and I can feel myself starting to get overwhelemed.

I know it'll be fine. I do an exam on Saturday that I should do well on. Then we go for the wedding, then another exam. Then my clinicals and then take a break to recover from my teeth. It'll all be fine but i'm starting to be such a lazy bum that if I can't just lay on my couch I get anxiety! Maybe that's not a good thing....

Oh well, better to be up doing things that just laying on my rump.

I will try not to leave my poor little blog lonely well I'm going crazy, but you probably if i'm not studying or working i'll be sleeping!

Much love and peace loverlies.

2011-07-06T22:27:00.002-05:00

Using only one word, answer the following questions. Interpret freely.
1) Your cell phone? Blackberry
2) Your hair? short
3) Your mother? amazing
4) Your father? strong
5) Your favorite thing? sleep
6) Your dream last night? pregnant
7) Your favorite drink? iced tea
8) Your dream/goal? nurse
9) What room are you in? living
10) Your hobby? none
11) Your biggest fear? death
12) Where were you last night? inlaws
13) Something that you're not? tall
14) Muffins? banana
15) Wish list item? iPad
16) Last thing you did? laughed
17) What are you wearing? comfy
18) Friends? best
19)Love? Curtis
20) Drinking? nada
21) Your mood? content
22) Your car? sick :(
23) Your style? me
24) Something you're not wearing? underpants ;)
25) Your favorite store? Winners
26) Your Favorite Color? pink
27) Your favorite place to eat? Earls
28) Favorite place you would like to be right now? home
29) Your pet peeve? knowit-alls
30) Your favorite website? Facebook

Day 13.

2011-06-21T21:37:00.002-05:00

Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.
Well unfortunately I am a woman, and for some reason feel the need to worry about everything!

Worry about Curtis at work, what to wear, why my hair looks like it's dead.

Worry about the flooding back home, farming, how my Mom and Dad are going to make it through this season. Why that girl just gave me a funny look and do I really seem as awkward as I think?

So yes, I worry. And not about big huge life changing things, just normal day to day things.

Probably my whole life this has been something I've been challenged with. Something I pray about and wish I could change!

“There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever.”

--- Mahatma Gandhi

Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic! Day 15. Write to encourage a friend. Inspire her beauty. Day 16. Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means. Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy. Day 18. Describe your personality. Day 19. Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!) Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it. Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.) Day 22. What are some needs that need to be met in your community? Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you. Day 23. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? Day 24. What is Jesus teaching you presently? Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes. Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone? Day 27. Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence! Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman. Day 29. Write about "a day in the life of me." (Pics are great!) Day 30. Who is your role model as a woman?

Day 12.

2011-06-20T10:42:00.001-05:00

Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.

Lets see... PMS and laundry! How's that for being poetic. Haha.

But in all seriousness I can't complain. I do get tired with day to day chores, but I don't have any little munchkins to take care of and I have a hubby to help.

Though, just the emotions of being a woman is tiring! Why we have to worry, second guess and read in to things is beyond me!

THE LIST:
Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better. Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic! Day 15. Write to encourage a friend. Inspire her beauty. Day 16. Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means. Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy. Day 18. Describe your personality. Day 19. Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!) Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it. Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.) Day 22. What are some needs that need to be met in your community? Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you. Day 23. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? Day 24. What is Jesus teaching you presently? Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes. Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone? Day 27. Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence! Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman. Day 29. Write about "a day in the life of me." (Pics are great!) Day 30. Who is your role model as a woman?

Hulllooo

2011-06-20T10:30:00.004-05:00

Well hello there, long lost friends. Seems like life has gotten a little crazy these days, but starting to get back to normal.
So, here's some life updates to get back in to the swing of things.

1. Getting in to some good stuff with my school work! So much so that I just ordered a stethoscope yesterday! Say what! For those of you who don't know, I'm taking nursing through correspondence. It's tough but makes me able to move or pack up and go with my hubby if the need arises.

2. My handsome hubby is done school! He's now a Journeyman Red Seal Powerlineman! So exciting!! And to top it off he was top in is class. Now he'll put in some time and maybe take his own crew some day!

3. Curtis' sister and hubby had a baby! Too cute and it definately does nothing good for this stupid baby bug!

4. I've been working a full time position at work, which is kiling me and my schoolwork, but so great for the bank account! Hopefully in the fall I'll drop out of it and back in to my permanent half time spot!

5. I'm down 5lbs and 3.5 inches on my body! Huzzah!

6. I got a new ink!

So, hopefully life slows down and I don't stay a stranger to the blogging world.
Peace and love, lovies.

Agape < 3

2011-04-22T22:02:00.000-05:00

And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit. At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook and the rocks split. The tombs broke open and the bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. They came out of the tombs, and after Jesus' resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many people.

Matthew 27:50-53

How you can read this and verses like it and not feel like weeping is beyond me.

I'm hoping on this lovely Good Friday that you beauties are all enjoying the day, the meaning of it and family. I pray that each one of you have a personal and special reason to be celebrating today.

It isn't about the bunnies, eggs and beautiful Easter Lilies.

It's about agape.

The indescribable, unending, undeniable love of Christ.

Oh how I wish I could live each and every day like him. That's what we strive for. And something that we should be concentrating on the whole year through. Not just at Christmas and Easter, but 365 days a year.

So may you have a wonderful weekend. Be able to pause and reflect on Christ's love for us and how truly a blessed people we are.

Day 11.

2011-04-19T10:54:00.005-05:00

Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out

I made both of these for supper last night. The buns I'd never done before, but the pie I had.

Here's the recipes for you loverlies to enjoy.

2 Hour Buns

3 c. water 2 eggs

8 T sugar 6 T oil

2 T fast rising yeast

7-8 c. flour 1 t salt

Mix yeast and 4 cups of flour.

In seperate bowl whip eggs, sugar, oil and water. Add flour/yeast mix. Blend well and add remaining flour and salt.

Let rise 15 mins - Punch down

Let rise 15 mins - Punch down and form into buns

Let rise 1 hour

Bake at 350 for 15 - 18 mins.

Strawberry Pie
Crust
1 c. flour
2 tbsp. confectioners' sugar
1/2 c. butter

Sift flour and sugar together into mixing bowl. With pastry blender, cut in butter until mixture resembles cornmeal. Chill 30 minutes. Then press firmly into 9 inch pie pan. Bake at 425 degrees for 10-12 minutes. Cool to room temperature.

Filling
1 c. sugar
1/8 tsp. salt
3 tbsp. cornstarch
1 c. water
1 (3 oz.) pkg. strawberry Jello
4 c. sliced strawberries

Combine sugar, cornstarch, salt and water in saucepan. Cook and stir until mixture thickens. Add Jello - blend in. Cool. Add strawberries to the shortbread crust after it has cooled. Spoon chilled filling over berries. Chill.

THE LIST:
Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman. Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better. Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic! Day 15. Write to encourage a friend. Inspire her beauty. Day 16. Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means. Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy. Day 18. Describe your personality. Day 19. Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!) Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it. Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.) Day 22. What are some needs that need to be met in your community? Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you. Day 23. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? Day 24. What is Jesus teaching you presently? Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes. Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone? Day 27. Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence! Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman. Day 29. Write about "a day in the life of me." (Pics are great!) Day 30. Who is your role model as a woman?

Day 10.

2011-04-18T14:14:00.002-05:00

Day 10. What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend? (Or just woman in general?)

As a wife, the good Lord is teaching me patience. That has got to be the number one thing. Only a few people very very close to us know that I specifically struggled with marriage in the beginning. I think it probably was a mix of marriage, and moving all at once that sent me over the deep end. I cried a lot, and didn't pray as much as I should have.

I thank God every day that Curtis is such a good man that he's stuck by me and loved me through these changes. Every day I love him more and am being taught so much as a loving wife.

patience

unending love

sacrifice

letting go of being in control

compromise

I've had a few friends ask why I would be ok with sacrifice and letting go of being in control, but when it's right and you love someone so much you have no problem with it.

It reminds me so much of the love Jesus had for us that he wouldn't question dying on a cross for us. Not that anything I will ever sacrifice will be that amazing, but as we come up to Easter it is a constant remind when i'm feeling upset about something, that our loving Father gave up so much for us, what's a little sacrifice every once in a while.

I hope you feel blessed today

THE LIST: Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!). Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman. Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better. Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic! Day 15. Write to encourage a friend. Inspire her beauty. Day 16. Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means. Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy. Day 18. Describe your personality. Day 19. Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!) Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it. Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.) Day 22. What are some needs that need to be met in your community? Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you. Day 23. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? Day 24. What is Jesus teaching you presently? Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes. Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone? Day 27. Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence! Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman.

Day 29. Write about "a day in the life of me." (Pics are great!) Day 30. Who is your role model as a woman?

Day 9.

2011-04-15T20:43:00.003-05:00

What virtues do I have?

vir·tue/ˈvərCHo͞o/Noun 1. Behavior showing high moral standards: "paragons of virtue" 2. A quality considerded morally good or desirable in a person

So what virtues do I have? I used to think I had a lot of patience but have now realized since being married that i'm as hot headed as my momma. Which isn't always a bad thing. In a list of virtues they list cleanliness as one. So I guess we'll start with that. I'm clean. I also think that I'm honest and trustworthy. That's one I've been working on. As a woman it's so hard to stay out of mindless gossip, but i've been trying to really watch what I say.

Empathy, caring, hopsitality, modesty, readiness and respectfulness are all virtues that I think I have. Whether ones my parents have instilled in me or ones I've grown in to.

THE LIST:

Day 10. What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend? (Or just woman in general?)

Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!).

Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.

Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.

Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic!

Day 15. Write to encourage a friend. Inspire her beauty.

Day 16. Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means. Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.

Day 18. Describe your personality.

Day 19. Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!) Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it.

Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.)

Day 22. What are some needs that need to be met in your community? Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you.

Day 23. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?

Day 24. What is Jesus teaching you presently?

Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.

Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone? Day 27. Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence!

Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman. Day 29. Write about "a day in the life of me." (Pics are great!)

Day 30. Who is your role model as a woman?

This thing called life

2011-04-10T18:49:00.003-05:00

I felt like blogging out of my Beauty 31. So here I am. Two posts in one day! Crazyness!

I've been feeling lately like Medicine Hat is truly home. I feel welcomed by the wonderful women I work with and go to church with. They're all so welcoming and I'm slowly feeling like I can be myself.

That's the thing... I have some people call, or text me saying "Hey, lets go for coffee." But why don't I ever put my neck out and be the asker?

I think it's because I feel like I'm coming in to circle of friends, and I'm not wanting to intrude. Like if they want to have coffee with me, then they will call me... but I don't want to call and have them feel like "Oh great, have to go hang out with that new girl..."

As we get older everyone has busy live and I just don't want to make them busier... or something like that. lol

The Lord has laid it on my heart so much lately that this is home and i'm so thankful that I'm finally happy here. Truly truly happy, but I pray that he will continue to give me good friends that I can fellowship with and make genuine friendships with. I pray that he'll help me gain my extrovertedness back. I was once such a loud, outgoing person but now feel better to just sit back and watch it happen.

So, that is why I felt like blogging. To tell you all that I love this city we call home. I love my work and my church and the new friends I'm slowly making. So if you're one of my old friends, I still love you. And if you're becoming a new friend, just be patient. I'm still coming out of my shell and once that happens, you might regret it!!!

Day 8.

2011-04-10T18:37:00.003-05:00

Day 8. A beauty secret

Well... I have a million people everyday stop me and ask how in the world I get my hair lookin so fly. Like a G6...

Yeah, no... Probably no one asks me that, though I did get a good 5 "Wow, you're beautiful" comments this week, which was very nice.

Anyways... my beauty tip is this little thing called back comb in a bottle. Or atleast that's what I call it. It's a white mattifying powder that looks like crack that I sprinkle in my hair that works exactly like backcombing it! Voila!

When I'm home this evening I'll post a picture of this marvelous creation for you all to enjoy.

Much love and peace to you, my non existant readers.

Cause, I don't know you're there if you don't leave me any love!

THE LIST: ~~Day 1. What does beauty mean to you?~~

~~Day 2. What makes you uniquely you?~~

~~Day 3. Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?~~

~~Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.~~

~~Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.~~

~~Day 6. Jaded beauty. Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?~~

~~Day 7. Write a blog to encourage another beautiful woman.~~

~~Day 8. Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!~~

Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself?

Day 10. What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend? (Or just woman in general?)

Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!).

Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.

Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.

Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic!

Day 15. Write to encourage a friend. Inspire her beauty.

Day 16. Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means.

Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.

Day 18. Describe your personality.

Day 19. Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!)

Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it.

Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.)

Day 22. What are some needs that need to be met in your community? Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you.

Day 23. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?

Day 24. What is Jesus teaching you presently?

Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.

Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone?

Day 27. Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence!

Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman.

Day 29. Write about "a day in the life of me." (Pics are great!)

Day 30. Who is your role model as a woman?

Day 7.

2011-04-01T11:55:00.004-05:00

Yay for being back to blonde!

Day 7. A blog to another beautiful woman

To my dear sisters.

You're both so beautiful in God's eyes, whether you see it or not.

Adrienne, you have creativity I can only dream of and the drive to do whatever you want in life that I wish I had. You're beautiful from the inside out.

And, Allison. Your humor and laughter are contagious. And your outgoing and friendly personality is awesome. I wish I could be even just a little bit like you.

I love the way you two stand up for yourselves but show love at the same time.

You're both beautiful Godly women and I love you for that.

THE LIST:

~~Day 1. What does beauty mean to you?~~

~~Day 2. What makes you uniquely you?~~

~~Day 3. Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?~~

~~Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.~~

~~Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.~~

~~Day 6. Jaded beauty. Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?~~

~~Day 7. Write a blog to encourage another beautiful woman.~~

Day 8. Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!

Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself?

Day 10. What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend? (Or just woman in general?)

Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!).

Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.

Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.

Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic!

Day 15. Write to encourage a friend. Inspire her beauty.

Day 16. Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means. Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.

Day 18. Describe your personality.

Day 19. Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!) Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it.

Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.)

Day 22. What are some needs that need to be met in your community? Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you.

Day 23. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?

Day 24. What is Jesus teaching you presently?

Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.

Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone? Day 27. Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence!

Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman.

Day 29. Write about "a day in the life of me." (Pics are great!)

Day 30. Who is your role model as a woman?

Day 6.

2011-03-16T20:13:00.005-05:00

Day 6. Jaded beauty

I wish it hadn't but of course the way the world views beauty has made me jaded.

who wouldn't be

Women like this look stunning and gorgeous.

But why don't we think women like this do to?

I would say Kelly Clarkson is far more beautiful than LeAnn Rimes!

And why on God's green earth is this lady considered a plus size model!?

Sorry this post is more of a rant than anything else, but this topic irkes me to no end. Why you can be a small in one store and go to the next and be sucking in to fit a large is crazy! Now, I know i'm not fat.. but I have gained a few since getting married, and lost and kept of a few as well. But it's the fact that we watch the gorgeous, skinny as sticks, totally retouched and computer made women and think that's what we should look like.

I wish it wasn't so, but yes... I am jaded by Hollywood beauty.

If only I could for once and all accept myself as my Creator made me.

Perfect in his sight.

Cause that's all that matters.

THE LIST: Day 1. What does beauty mean to you? Day 2. What makes you uniquely you? Day 3. Who is someone you know who inspires beauty? Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit. Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive. Day 6. Jaded beauty. Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you? Day 7. Write a blog to encourage another beautiful woman. Day 8. Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please! Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself? Day 10. What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend? (Or just woman in general?) Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!). Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman. Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better. Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic! Day 15. Write to encourage a friend. Inspire her beauty. Day 16. Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means. Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy. Day 18. Describe your personality. Day 19. Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!) Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it. Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.) Day 22. What are some needs that need to be met in your community? Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you. Day 23. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? Day 24. What is Jesus teaching you presently? Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes. Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone? Day 27. Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence! Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman. Day 29. Write about "a day in the life of me." (Pics are great!) Day 30. Who is your role model as a woman? Day 31. Write about your dreams and goals as a beautiful woman!

Day 5.

2011-03-09T11:53:00.002-06:00

Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.
The picture above is one of Curtis and I.

Yeah, yeah, how cliche to write that my husband has made my heart come alive, but it's true! He's as carefree as I am serious.

He's spontaneous and i'm more of a stuck in a rut type of person.

He's made my heart come alive with love. Love for him and for our marriage.

He's the meaning of a Godly husband. Caring, supporting, and providing.

In our two years of marriage I think we've both changed a lot, and for the better.

He's made me realize how to truly love and he's made my heart come alive.

THE LIST:

Day 1. What does beauty mean to you?
Day 2. What makes you uniquely you?
Day 3. Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?
Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.
Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.
Day 6. Jaded beauty. Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?
Day 7. Write a blog to encourage another beautiful woman.
Day 8. Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!
Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself?
Day 10. What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend? (Or just woman in general?)
Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!).
Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.
Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.
Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic!
Day 15. Write to encourage a friend. Inspire her beauty.
Day 16. Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means.
Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.
Day 18. Describe your personality.
Day 19. Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!)
Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it.
Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.)
Day 22. What are some needs that need to be met in your community? Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you.
Day 23. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?
Day 24. What is Jesus teaching you presently?
Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.
Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone?
Day 27. Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence!
Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman.
Day 29. Write about "a day in the life of me." (Pics are great!)
Day 30. Who is your role model as a woman?
Day 31. Write about your dreams and goals as a beautiful woman!

Day 4.

2011-03-07T23:21:00.005-06:00

Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.

Although I spend most of my time in scrubs I do love clothes...

who can resist some animal print...

and a good pair of shoes...

a dang good pair of shoes!

THE LIST:

Day 1. What does beauty mean to you?
Day 2. What makes you uniquely you?
Day 3. Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?
Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.
Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.
Day 6. Jaded beauty. Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?
Day 7. Write a blog to encourage another beautiful woman.
Day 8. Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!
Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself?
Day 10. What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend? (Or just woman in general?)
Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!).
Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.
Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.
Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic!
Day 15. Write to encourage a friend. Inspire her beauty.
Day 16. Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means.
Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.
Day 18. Describe your personality.
Day 19. Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!)
Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it.
Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.)
Day 22. What are some needs that need to be met in your community? Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you.
Day 23. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?
Day 24. What is Jesus teaching you presently?
Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.
Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone?
Day 27. Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence!
Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman.
Day 29. Write about "a day in the life of me." (Pics are great!)
Day 30. Who is your role model as a woman?
Day 31. Write about your dreams and goals as a beautiful woman!

Day 3.

2011-03-02T21:31:00.003-06:00

A perfect print

Day 3. Whos is someone you know who inspires beauty?

My grandma was someone who inspired true beauty inside and out. No matter her health she was radiating and beautiful. And her mannerisms and attitude were always positive.

She'll always be someone I strive to be as beautiful as!

THE LIST:

Day 1. What does beauty mean to you?
Day 2. What makes you uniquely you?
Day 3. Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?
Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.
Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.
Day 6. Jaded beauty. Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?
Day 7. Write a blog to encourage another beautiful woman.
Day 8. Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!
Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself?
Day 10. What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend? (Or just woman in general?)
Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!).
Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.
Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.
Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic!
Day 15. Write to encourage a friend. Inspire her beauty.
Day 16. Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means.
Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.
Day 18. Describe your personality.
Day 19. Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!)
Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it.
Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.)
Day 22. What are some needs that need to be met in your community? Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you.
Day 23. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?
Day 24. What is Jesus teaching you presently?
Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.
Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone?
Day 27. Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence!
Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman.
Day 29. Write about "a day in the life of me." (Pics are great!)
Day 30. Who is your role model as a woman?
Day 31. Write about your dreams and goals as a beautiful woman!

Day 2.

2011-03-01T00:53:00.004-06:00

Our new fish

Day 2. What makes you uniquely you?

I'm extroverted, but introvereted.

Messy but OCD crazy.

Some days I want to be a hippie, other days just a cool hipster.

I love my job, but it makes me sad.

I'm so indecisive I'm still not sure who I really am!

THE LIST:

Hilarious Videos!

2011-02-27T23:06:00.001-06:00

Day 1.

2011-02-22T11:06:00.006-06:00

My buddy bear just left today for 7 weeks at school. So i'm hoping this will give me some time to do some blogging, some reading of my B-I-B-LE and other things I've been lacking whilst being a good little wifey.

So this will be Day 1 of the 31 day challenge. I'm hoping to do a post and a picture every day. We shall see

Sad cause my buddy bear is gone.

Day 1. What does beauty mean to you?

Beauty is the wrinkles on my Grandma's cheeks

Beauty is my little sister's freckles and my not so little sister's laughs. They're beautifully contagious.

Beauty is my Mom. Plain and simple... she is gorgeous.

The trees, sunsets and glistening snow is God's beauty among us.

All that God has created is beauty.

THE LIST:

~~Day 1. What does beauty mean to you?~~
Day 2. What makes you uniquely you?
Day 3. Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?
Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.
Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.
Day 6. Jaded beauty. Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?
Day 7. Write a blog to encourage another beautiful woman.
Day 8. Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!
Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself?
Day 10. What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend? (Or just woman in general?)
Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!).
Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.
Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.
Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic!
Day 15. Write to encourage a friend. Inspire her beauty.
Day 16. Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means.
Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.
Day 18. Describe your personality.
Day 19. Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!)
Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it.
Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.)
Day 22. What are some needs that need to be met in your community? Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you.
Day 23. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?
Day 24. What is Jesus teaching you presently?
Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.
Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone?
Day 27. Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence!
Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman.
Day 29. Write about "a day in the life of me." (Pics are great!)
Day 30. Who is your role model as a woman?
Day 31. Write about your dreams and goals as a beautiful woman!

Project 31

2011-02-22T11:02:00.003-06:00

I found this awesome idea on a blog I love called She Breathes Deeply... lets see if I can stick to it!

What is "Project 31"? It is a collection of thoughts, ideas, and women who potray beauty in a inspired way. "Project 31" is you celebrating your God given beauty, and celebrating the beautiful women around you. The meaning behind the project is taken from this:

Proverbs 31

10 Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
15 She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.
17 She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
20 She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
22 She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
25 Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “ Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.

Pretty good stuff, huh? Wanna join in? Here is the challenge... For 31 days, blog each day about things that celebrate your God given beauty, and the beauty of the women around you. I attatched a list below you can follow, or you can make up your own (please link back here, though).

THE LIST:

Day 1. What does beauty mean to you?
Day 2. What makes you uniquely you?
Day 3. Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?
Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.
Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.
Day 6. Jaded beauty. Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?
Day 7. Write a blog to encourage another beautiful woman.
Day 8. Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!
Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself?
Day 10. What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend? (Or just woman in general?)
Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!).
Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.
Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.
Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic!
Day 15. Write to encourage a friend. Inspire her beauty.
Day 16. Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means.
Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.
Day 18. Describe your personality.
Day 19. Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!)
Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it.
Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.)
Day 22. What are some needs that need to be met in your community? Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you.
Day 23. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?
Day 24. What is Jesus teaching you presently?
Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.
Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone?
Day 27. Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence!
Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman.
Day 29. Write about "a day in the life of me." (Pics are great!)
Day 30. Who is your role model as a woman?
Day 31. Write about your dreams and goals as a beautiful woman!

Rant!

2011-02-06T22:53:00.001-06:00

Ugh, men. Why can't I be grouchy, but the minute he is I have to leave him alone.

Can't I be grouchy and it not be PMS?

Don't tell him, but maybe it is the hormones this time. Shhh ;)

2011-02-05T17:12:00.003-06:00

You can feel it in the air. Spring is on it's way!

Hope, renewal and newness.

God is good.

2010-11-11T23:35:00.003-06:00

2010-11-11T23:09:00.001-06:00

This blog is currently under construction.
Please be patient and bear with the mess. :)

2010-11-11T12:28:00.003-06:00

Yesterday while taking a break from studying I stumbled upon the website. makemebabies.com

This is what they predict Curtis and I will make a boy to look like.

And a girl.

2010-11-07T21:29:00.002-06:00

I always feel like I have a million things to blog about, but then when I sit down to actually do it I have nothing to say. So today I'm going to blog about my buddy bear.

I have been married for 1 year and 3 months tomorrow.

And here is a confession. It's tough. I remember everyone telling us when we got engaged, oh marriage is the toughest thing you'll ever do. And I was like "Yeah, sure. Can't be that hard."

Well it is. It's actually harder than I ever imagined.

But on the flip side, it's better than I ever imagined.

I love Curtis more today than I did a year ago.

Yes, we've had our ups and downs and we've had our share of tears and laughter but I would take all the valleys and the tears over again if it meant I would be with him.

Marriage is the best thing for someone to become totally selfless. To make a marriage work, i've found, that I need to put my wants and needs second. Not fully and not all the time, because I still need to love myself. But I need to show Curtis that I care about him enough to do anything.

So yes, even though some days I feel like I'm bashing my head against a wall I love him.

I love his sillyness and immaturity.

I love his casual and laidback manner.

I love his hardworking and providing nature.

And most of all I love him. Just him as he is.

He is my bestfriend and soulmate. The future father of my children and who I'm going to grow old and grey with.

Change

2010-11-02T23:21:00.002-05:00

I must admit, I'm settling in to Medicine Hat.

Maybe too much? I'm actually happy here.

We're starting to settle in a church, quite nicely.

I'm loving work and making friends with some of the girls.

And yes, I'm so happy that I'm happy here, but at the same time it makes me sad.

I'm sad that I'm slowly losing my friends back home. Skype turns in to Facebook messages, turns into random texts which turns into no contact at all.

So if you're one of my new friends in the Hat. Hi there, I kinda like you. Lets do coffee :)

And if you're one of my friends back home, I miss you. Lots.

Day... 4

2010-10-20T14:13:00.003-05:00

I've been working like a crazy woman and hence no recent pictures.

But I'm back! As most of you know I chopped off my hair yesterday... It was starting to thin out so much that I needed to just cut it all off and start fresh. I was pretty sad about it, but I'm so glad I did it, cause I absolutely loooove it. If any of you need a stylist check out Tyler at Tint! He's amazing.

But something you probably don't know is that yesterday while cutting off my hair I decided that if I had to cut my hair off why not pierce my nose to just completely change my look!

So here it is!

It's pretty red still and a bigger stud then what I'll end up putting in, but I'm stoked! I've wanted to get it done forever, and finally did.

Day 3

2010-10-15T15:10:00.003-05:00

I had a crazy day of work yesterday, so here's day three and day four will come tonight.

My crazy kitty, Chai.

I think she was getting annoyed at me taking pictures of her. :)

Day 2

2010-10-13T18:02:00.002-05:00

My picture for today is of the key chain I got last night for meeting my 10%!!!
Down a total of 16.4lbs and i'm stoked.

2010-10-12T12:32:00.004-05:00

So I got my blood work back and all my levels are perfect! (Except for Vitamin D, which isn't that big of a deal) But no diabetes, thyroid problem or anemia. I'm pumped it isn't anything serious, but at the same time frusturated that we don't know what it is.

For now we'll just treat each symptom individually, some meds, a referal to a dermatologist, a Vitamin D supplement and come back in 3 weeks.

I'm praying I get some more energy. I have a big string of shifts coming up and I'm wondering if maybe that's why i'm beat. Because I'm working double shifts, and up to 14 in a row. But it's good for the bank account and looks good to the managers that i'm picking up like crazy.

On a more positive note, tonight is WW night! I'm pretty sure I'm going to meet my 10% weight loss goal and get my fancy dancy key chain!! I'm stoked and very happy that Thanksgiving didn't set me off too badly!

Also, I'm going to start doing the picture a day challenge... or atleast try to! And i'm planning on just doing it here on my blog instead of facebook and hoping it'll get me posting more.

So here's Day 1!

My little sister picking buttercups.

Have a blessed day!

Prayer Request

2010-10-01T00:53:00.002-05:00

There's some things I want people to know, but not everyone... which is why I love my blog.

The past six months or so I've been feeling pretty beat. Thought maybe having a nap nearly every afternoon was not the best thing to be doing, but I wasn't going to do anything about it!

Also thought that the amount of sore throats and colds i've had has been ridic, but again whatever... everyone gets colds.

Within the past month or so I've noticed a whole tonne of hair loss and yet again just brushed it off until... I went to my hairdresser and he showed me two handfuls of my hair!! Yikes.

So after all this I went to the doctor with my list of symptoms. Headaches, insane mood swins, fatigue, colds, and hair loss. Well my doc says it's either 1. Diabetes or 2. Hyperthyroidism.

Well I would love love love your prayers. Pray that whatever is going on with me the blood tests will show what it is. And whether it be diabetes, a thyroid issue or something else that God's plan is in this and it will be ok. And finally that Curtis can deal with whatever it is. He's feeling bad that he's always joked about my mood swings and my naps and now it really is a problem.

Be blessed you guys, and thanks!

2010-09-08T19:47:00.002-05:00

So... I have exciting news. And want to tell everyone I know, but it's not something everyone needs to know. Haha

Two weeks ago I joined Weight Watchers.

Week 1. Down 5.0 lbs.

Week 2. Down 4.2 lbs. Total of 9.2 lbs and met my first 5% loss of 8lbs.

I'm stoked!!!! My goal is to get down to 125lbs. I dunno if maybe that's too much to lose, so maybe 130 would be ok. Either way I'm so happy with myself for sticking to it and actually making a change.

Yay me!

2010-09-05T23:16:00.002-05:00

So I've finally gotten a day off, and with the swap of another shift, managed to also get today off. It was nice, going to church with everyone and just lazing around all day. I like days like that, but it really makes me miss my family. I like being at home and listening to Vinyl Cafe on the way home from church. Eating whatever for lunch and everyone going their seperate ways. Sleeping and reading the day away.
I miss that.
On a happier note, we are the brand new owners of a brand new truck! A pretty metallic black Ford FX4 2010! It's crazy to think that at the ages of 20 and 21 we can buy a brand new truck. Insane! Insane in the membrane!
I hate how I can't write as eloquently or nicely as some other people. *cough* my sisters. I feel like when I blog all I do is ramble... but if that's me... I can't change it. Righ

Actuality, breath, substinence, entity

2010-09-02T01:33:00.003-05:00

So what, I live to please.

My boss, my Mom, my friends, my husband, my patients. I yearn for approval.

Yeah, I may say it was having to become a big kid at 11 months that did me in for constantly wanting attention, acceptance, approval. And if that means I take every shift I'm asked of, I ask "How high?" when told to jump, and why I worry non-stop about how people percieve me, so be it. But does that mean that's the only thing I live for, to please? Heck no.

I live to tell that 90+ lady in room 100 that she's beautiful.

I live to be that perfect housewife.

I live to get all the laundry washed, dried, folded and put away all in one go, just because I can. So what if I had to stay up till two to do so.

I live to make that man's last days, hours and minutes in this world as comfortable as can be.

I live to make myself better. Yeah, 5am blows but to get a run in before work is worth it.

I live to be the best nurse I can be. And for now the best nursing attendant. I wipe butts like no other.

So in my life, I am 20 years old living two provinces from my favorite people. Married for a year to my best friend. Yeah, we have tough days but we went into this knowing it would be a challenge and I love it. Igo to bed thankful every night for what God has blessed me with. An amazing husband who works so incredibly hard to support us. A wonderful family that I love to death. And great friends. To top it off I have enough work that I'm dying for a day off.

So before you judge who I am and what i'm about, just let me tell you straight up.

I am a wife, first and foremost. I love my husband like you couldn't believe.

I am a nurse. I love my job and though I've seen things a person my age should never have to see it only makes me stronger.

I am a daughter. My mom is one ofr my best friends and my dad is my hero.

I am a sister. No matter what I love my sisters so unconditionaly and living 8 hours away blows.

Respect, don't mock.

News news news news

2010-08-19T22:59:00.003-05:00

1. I'm back to that crazy thing they call school! I'm nervous and worried and scared and excited all at the same time, but i'm so happy and pumped to be back at it. Hopefully before next Christmas i'll have my license and be a true LPN!

2. I've accepted a job at the Medicine Hat Regional Hopsita -yeah, kind of intimidatingl. I'll be in a temporary part-time position on the 2North unit. It's a Geriatric Assesment and Rehab unit. So not as heavy as long term care, but more work and better money than where I am right now. I'm probably going to drop down to casual at Chinook, but for now i'm going to stick with two jobs, help out the bank account a bit and make sure I like it on 2North.

3. My sisters were just out visiting for a while and we all went and defaced our bodies together! Yay. I'll let you -my few readers- to be told by Adri and Alle what they did, but I got inked. (Yeah, i'm hardcore like that) I'll give you a hint that I got my tattoo on my foot, and in memory of my grandma, but right now it's still really red and my foot is very swollen. So I'll wait to post a picture. I'm incredibly excited about it, and so happy I did it. Though I have to admit, they say the foot is the worst place to get one done, and I may not have anything to compare it with but it hurt, ALOT. Like the only thing I can think to describe it would be like cutting your leg while shaving, but that feeling repeatedly and really really deep. Yeah, it killed. But an hour and a half of pain for a lifetime of beauty!

I think that's all my news for now, and I know I say this alot, but i'm really going to try to get into posting more. Now tha tI'm planning on going to the library to study I'll maybe take study breaks to post. :)

Much Love

2010-07-07T10:14:00.002-05:00

So... in a crazy turn of events, Curtis and I are going through the process of buying a house!!!! I'm pumped and didn't think we'd be able to get into a house for a couple years. But miracles happen.

Here it is!

http://www.mhreb.ca/mls_detail?mls_number=12394

New post! Yay!

2010-07-06T13:30:00.003-05:00

I wish I had more motivation to blog. It'd be a fun way of letting those few who read this know what's going on in our life.

So, to update you... The company we rent our place from in going into bankruptcy, causing them to restructure which means selling a bunch of their properties ex; ours. So as of July 26th we may or may not be able to live here. It all depends on the new owner. So as a precaution we're going to go look at a couple places tonight. The one i'm stoked about is a newer duplex. Different part of the city, but same side. Has a garage and a yard! Yay!!! It'd be the same amount of rent, but would be nice to have some space to ourselves!

On the school side of things, i've yet to hear anyhting about my application. Still waiting. Which is getting me pretty anxious but i'm just praying that it's taking so long cause they're going to accept my A&P. But who knows.

Nic is here staying with us for the week, which is fun. Gives me someone to watch tv with. :)

Tomorrow I get to go and meet my doctor! Finally after living here almost a year I've found a family doctor. I'm pumped. Woke up with yet another crazy sore throat, so i'm hoping that maybe we can figure out what's going on with it, rather than just taking more antibiotics.

Anyho, that's about the only exciting things right now... But I'm really going to try to start posting more and more... we'll see if I stick with it.

Much love and peace

Change in Profession

2010-03-19T21:28:00.002-05:00

It's on days like today that I think I should change my choice in future profession...

Here's the scoop (and yes, I'll leave out the important stuff so it's confidential).

We've had a lady in our facility for about six months. Came to assisted living because she was battling cancer, but decided that she was not wanting to do chemo anymore after it took a toll on her. She chose to stay at our facility as palliative, meaning we would just keep her comfortable.

Well today during our lunch break and in a whirlwind of events she had the quickest, most peaceful passing our two most seasoned RN's had ever seen. She simply just slipped away. Now yes, it was as beautiful a dying process as it could be, but the moment literally had all of us staff sitting just staring at each other. Because as this family has all hurried to come together to rally around Mom and wait for her to go life continued. The other residents had lunch, the housekeepers continued to clean and we were left sitting there thinking, "Wow, literally five minutes ago she was fine and with us." It's these minutes that really make you reflect on how fragile life is and how precious your time is here.

I'll admit it, I called Curtis when I got home just to hear him talk. It really makes you realize how valuable every moment is, because you can be fine one minute and in mere seconds be gone.

Another admission, this was the first time I was ever on the floor when someone has passed. Coming up two years, and I've never actually been in the building. And in some ways I'm glad it was this passing I was there for, and not an exasperated and dramatic one. One where she was surrounded by love and made all of us realized how special that is.

Be blessed.

Pants are overrated

2010-03-10T13:33:00.005-06:00

Adrienne has got me into this fad of not wearing pants. Why wear them when leggings and dress or sweater can suffice? Although I love wearing no pants I don't think I would ever go out in public sans des pantalons.

So, to update you on my last blog...

1. Yesterday marked a week of getting up at 5am (on work days) to get my workout in before work, and also working out or alteast getting some crunches in during commercials, every day! I'm incredibly impressed with myself. Usually i'm one to think of a great idea, do it once or twice and throw it away. But this i'm actually sticking to! And the great thing is, I put a pair of pants on yesterday, and I know it's too early to see really big results, but my pants weren't near as tight as they have been!! Woo hoo. And another plus is that yesterday, a week into working out, I was able to do it work out completely without stopping or feeling like I was dying!

2. Well, as for my books I did take a couple back to the library, because I just wasn't loving them, but the ones that I replaced them with are awesome. I think though that I need to be really interested in the book to feel motivated to read it.

3. Well I haven't been saying frickin and crap lately, but I think it's probably because there's no one home to talk too... haha. We'll have to see how this goes when Curtis is back home.

4. I've been trying really hard on the issue of food. I bought rice crackers the other day rather than chips. I'm not one to need a sugar fix, but I love salt. So i'm trying to find healthier versions of the things I love. I'm also trying to stick to the same types of breakfast and lunches everyday. I read in a book that you're less likely to over eat if you keep is the same every day. So my breakfasts have been consisting of cottage cheese and a kiwi and my lunches have been veggies and dip with cheese and a rice cake. So far I think it's helping because I'm not trying to think of what ot have for lunch, but rather just know what I'm having and give myself no option to change.

5. Well I think that it's pretty hard to strengthen my walk when I'm working weekends, but I'm looking forward to tonight and going to small group Bible study and meeting with some other young people.

And now for the job hunt. I had an interview yesterday for what I thought was casual, but turns out it's for a .7 one year term position. Better pay but heavier work. They're going to get back to me near the end of the week. I also have another interview at an extended care facility, so again better pay but heavier work. Not sure what it's for, whether casual or a position.

The thing is now I'm thinking of just staying at Chinook with my small EFT and picking up, because 1. I love it and 2. I'm going to be starting my nursing again asap. So yes, I think that if I get offered the .7 i'm going to turn it down. And if this other interview is for casual that I'll take it.

That's really all I've got.

Peace and love!

New "Month" Resolutions

2010-03-01T21:28:00.002-06:00

So today is the first day of Curtis' seven week school, which means the first full day of myself being alone... So far i'm bored out of my mind.

I figure since it's a new month, that starts on a new week and Curtis isn't here, so it's like a new adventure I'm going to make some resolutions!

1. Work out or alteast get off my butt during commercials, every day. (So far, I'm doing good)

2. Finish the four books that are sitting on my coffee table. (I'm almost halfway through Stolen Innocence)

3. Stop saying the words "frickin" and "crap". I know Curtis hates it when I say them, so why not stop, right?

4. Stop eating all this junk! I always blame it on Curtis that I "ate those chips" or "we had Mickey D's for supper" but if it's really always his fault why did I eat the Doritos this afternoon?

5. Strengthen my personal walk. In pre-marital sessions Pastor Bob brought up a great idea, that he showed to us in the form of < (but rotate to the right...) with God at the top, and Curtis and I at teh bottom points. So as we individually grow closer to Him, we grow closer to each other. I think that in the stress of jobs, money, being newlyweds and still settling into our new city that it's taken a lot of that focus off of God. Now is time to put it back on him.

So, those are my five March/Spring Resolutions... I'll keep y'all updated on how they're going. As for the (more) job hunt, I had an interview on Saturday, for a position that I just don't think I could fulfill for the family. It's doing respite work for their two kids with Aspergers, but full time... So yeah. Too bad. But! I have another interview on Thursday for a aide position at a care home in the city and finally the people at Good Sam's (another place i've applied to about four time since January) have gotten back to me... but just for casual. So i'm going to see what happens on Thursday and then go from there.

Much love and peace!

Complete and Utter Discouragment...

2010-02-07T18:23:00.002-06:00

...that's what applying for 30+ jobs within the last two weeks and hearing absolutely nothing back! Nadda, zip, zilch. Nothing!
I now understand why unemployed people can get discouraged and depressed. (Not saying that i'm depressed). But yeah, it's frusturating. Like how can I not be qaulified to work at Starbucks... really?!
So I talked to my crazy crazy boss and said that I'd be willing to take a position, but the only opening right now is an every other weekend position on the same weekends that Curtis has off. So she's going to try to do some rearranging and get me to have the other everything other weekends. It's crummy working weekends, and they're short shifts, but atleast Curtis and I could go to Church together. The last time we did that was back in Strath at Christmas time! It's been waaaay too long.
I've been really, I dunno if you'd call it homesick, but just missing Christmas, and family and friends, and familiarity. I still don't now this town as well as I want to to call it home. But oh well.
It's definately all making my emotions wild, which I know is driving Curtis insane, but if I want to cry every other night for a week, why not! I miss my Mom. Haha
But anyho. If anyone is reading this it'd be great to have your prayer support. It would definately help.
Much love and peace

Lack of posting...

2010-01-25T18:26:00.002-06:00

I'm not to sure why I haven't been posting, at all. I have quite a few days where all I do is sit around and think of what house chores I could be doing.... So why don't I sit down at the computer and type? Well hopefully this is the re-birth of my blog.

So yes, Curtis and I have been in the Hat for just over five months now. We've settled in to two churches. Haha. When we are both home together (which isn't very often) we go to Hillcrest. An Evangelical Missionary Church. This is also the church that we go to on Wednesday nights for worship nights, special speakers and small group Bible studies. We've gotten to know some people, but no one incredibly close. Though I think there is potential. The other church is Heights Baptist. This is the church that Art and Tammy go to, so when either of us are working the other goes with them to church. It's a nice, smaller church and I feel like people actually notice me there. Haha. All in all we're starting to make a church family, which I like. :)

I've been working as casual at Chinook Village, but hours are being cut. So after Christmas and a new sled and before Curtis goes away to school in March is the worst possible time for my income to be cut. Like a lot! So i'm looking for a job... it'd be nice to just do part-time, but i'm applying for a few positions and we'll see what happens.

I was going to do a rant on my boss, but maybe we'll leave that for another day. :) I should probably go feed the hungry guy.

Much love.

Almost two weeks in...

2009-10-19T10:40:00.001-05:00

and I've lost five pounds! Oh how excersicing makes a difference.

Now it'll be if it'll stay off or not.

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Oh the joys of weight

2009-10-07T13:10:00.002-05:00

So after feeling a little down about my lack of excersice and increase on the scale, I've decided today that enough is enough. During my first year from home I definately gained some unwanted pounds, and never was motivated enough to do anything about them.

Now, I do a lot of housework and don't run or walk or work out like I used to.

So... today is the start of Jodi's progress. I've joined an online site (sparkpeople.com) and hoping that it'll be the motivation I need. My goal right now is to get back down to 125, but realistically 130 would be nice.

So this is day one... and so far all i've done is sat in front of the computer.

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Life in general...

2009-09-23T12:01:00.002-05:00

...is going good.

We're been in the Hat for over a month and I've gotten a casual position at an assisted living complex. It's exactly what I want. I'm not obligated to be working, and it's nice for Curtis and I to go home to visit, and for when we want to go away at Christmas time. Or possibly a trip out east? Hmm...

But yes, life is different but good. We've been trying out different churches, and found a couple that we're liking. We've been invited to join a small group Bible Study from Hillcrest, and tonight we're going to go to the College and Career group. Hopefully it opens avenues for meeting people.

That's the thing. I'm completely settled in what once was a totally foreign city. I know the streets, and the areas or town and where the closest Tim's is, but I don't know anyone! It's not like at home, where you couldn't go anywhere without bumping in to someone, but here I could spend a day at the mall, Wal-Mart, etc and see absolutely no one. It's nice in a way, that I can go and do my thing and have no one seeing me, judging me in the small town way. Though at the same time it'd be nice to see a familar face, smile and say "Hi, how are you?" and strike up a converstion.

So yes, someday I could see this city being home and finding good ol MB to be foreign, but for now it isn't home. I wish I was like Adrienne and Allison, who get to experience a new and foreign place, but at the end of it all they can come home. Though, not I. I have to make this my home whether I want to or not, and for now I don't.

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One Month

2009-09-08T11:02:00.003-05:00

Curtis and I are celebrating our one month anniversary today. Some people might say that's lame, but I completely disagree. I hope that Curtis and I will look back on every month passed and remember the good times, maybe a few bad times and look forward to what the next month will bring.

So what are we doing tonight you may ask?

Nothing! Curtis said it was my choice as to what we were doing and frankly I feel like ordering in pizza and just watching TV. Seriously, quality time together is what we need.

Although, it might be nice to get dressed up and go out for supper. We'll see what I'm feeling when he comes home.

So yeah, that is really all I have to say. And! We're probably coming to MB this weekend. :) As long as they don't schedule any orientation for me we'll be on the road Thursday when Curtis gets home.

Have a blessed day

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Life as it now is

2009-09-03T11:14:00.003-05:00

I'm not really sure what I'm going to say but I just feel this need to let my emotions out.
The last month has taken what I had known as life and completely flipped it upside down and inside out. Now don't get me wrong. I love where I am, and obviously who I am with. But it's tough. Change imparticular is tough.
Knowing today that my sisters are travelling as far east as a person could and still be in Canada and that a few weeks ago I journeyed far to the west makes me sad. I will not see Allison and Adrienne until Christmas. The three of us (who at one time people thought were triplets) are separated for four months.
I'll be the first one to admit that our friendship growing up has been far from perfect, but the more we grow up and mature the closer of a friendship we all have, and the more I appreciate and need it.
So as they start their journey of a life time I pray that my parents and Nicole can adjust to having a nearly empty house and that Curtis and I continue to adjust to life in The Hat, that my job interview turns out good and that our search for a home church results in one that we feel a connection with and a continued hand of blessing in our new life together. And if you're reading I just ask that you pray also. It's a huge change for everyone in our family and prayer does amazing things.
Like my Mom always says, Choose Happy. And I'm honestly trying to, though the farther east they (and Morgan) go the sadder I can feel myself becoming. I think it's a good day to have a bubble bath, a coffee and lay around and reminisce.

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eight days

2009-07-30T21:34:00.002-05:00

eight days.17 hours.25 minutes.

That's all that remains of my being Jodi Lennox.

I think the mixed feelings have come and gone now. I'm mostly excited, though I'll have to admit there is some anxiousness there. I'm completely looking forward to the wedding day, to married life and even a bit to moving and starting our life out in Alberta.

So yeah... I thought I'd have a lot to say. That I'd use this as a vent to get my thoughts that are all muddled up out. Though this isn't really working out.

All I have to say is that in eight days, seventeen hours and seventeen minutes I will marry my childhood love. And fulfill my little girl dream.

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The Beginning of the End

2009-06-05T16:52:00.003-05:00

In sixty three days, I will no longer be Jodi Mae Lennox. My childhood dream, I guess you could call it, will be coming true. Starting August 8th around four thirty in the afternoon I'll be Jodi Mae Baker. That's right, I'll get two more parents, four more grandparents, a couple more sisters and a brother and one brother in-law. Crazy!!!

So it all makes me think... Am I leaving behind my Lennox-ness? What about the Gibbs side of me? I like to believe not, although I will never again introduce myself as "Hi, I'm Jodi Lennox" I will always have the faith, the stubborness and what not that makes up a Lennox/Gibbs. When I move to Medicine Hat no one will ever know who I used to be.

Medicine Hat... now that's a whole other topic. I'll admit it, I've had quite a few "Holy cow, what am I doing" moments and cries about the whole moving thing. Don't get me wrong, I'm very excited for it, and the start of mine and Curtis' life but seriously... Medicine Hat! I have lived all nineteen years of my life in the same province, and only this past year did I move from the yard that I grew up in. But it's like leaving Strathclair, MB means leaving anything and everything that is familiar to me. Leaving my family, my friends, my church, my life.

Now don't get me wrong I'm totally pumped about getting married, but it'd be so much nicer if getting married didn't mean moving. Though it does, so I'll put on my big girl panties and deal. But i'll without a doubt miss my Mom, Dad and sisters. Also, the official end of my "childhood".

Phew, now that's all off my chest I think i'm going to go eat.

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Planning

2009-04-27T20:59:00.002-05:00

It's been two and a half weeks since Curtis and I got engaged, and plans are well on the way.

The all time hardest decision, for both Curtis and I, has been the decision of Bridesmaids (and then Maid of Honor) and Groomsmen (and then Best Man). And believe me, you won't know how hard a decision it is until you have to make it.

I have sisters, and lots of them. Curtis has a brother and cousins. Plus we both have friends. Do you keep it all in the family? How do you choose? How do you not hurt anyone?

Do you choose someone because you think they'd take it the worst if you didn't ask them? Do you choose who you're the closest with now, or with who you have been in the past?

So after nights of not sleeping, I've made my decision... or atleast I think. And I hope and pray that who I've chosen feel honored, and who I haven't still love me because I definately love them.

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Wanna Scream It From the Mountaintops

2009-04-13T16:11:00.001-05:00

I'm engaged!

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Alberta Bound

2009-04-03T10:15:00.002-05:00

I think it's safe to say it. But, my readers keep it on the down low.

I have yet to hear back from ACC and from what i've heard from people who are ahead of me in the application process, that Fall 2010 might be the earliest I can get in. Frankly, i'm just not going to sit around and wait for them. Don't get me wrong, i'd love to stay in Brandon where I know the city, have an awesome apartment and my friends, family and work close by.

Though, just thinking about moving to Alberta excites me! Not just because Curtis is out there, but it's warm. :) Alot warmer then the stupid Manitoba winter weather. It'll be a new start to me. And... yeah, Curtis is out there. The last few times he's been gone have been really really tough on me. And, it being tough on me doesn't make it easy for him. So why sit around and continue to make both of our lives difficult if we have the chance to change that?

Now, here are my Albertan options.

1. Prairie Bible Institute

Bible College

Missions opportunity

2 hours from Curtis

Already accepted

2. Medicine Hat College, Brooks Campus

Secular College

Have to take an extra English before going

1 hour from Curtis

Yet to be accepted

So there you have it, that is my life before me. If only Praire was closer to Curtis or he could go there I'd send them my money today and garuntee my seat. It's like a post I had a while back, where the number one choice I'd like (Brooks) is being blocked from me (have to do a second English). I wish it'd just be easy...

So, my few readers. I think it's safe to say that sometime during this upcoming summer I, Jodi Lennox will be Alberta Bound and nothing makes me smile more. :)

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Work

2009-03-20T15:06:00.002-05:00

I love my job.

Every shift I work is an oppurtunity to make someone's day bright. Make them happy to be getting out of bed.

I love that after every shift I can go home feeling rewarded by the smile I bring to someone's face or that "Good-night dear, thank you!" I get to hear while tucking someone in for the night. It makes those night shifts, and five a.m. wake-up calls worth it.

I also love the people I work with. Everyday you learn a new little trick to help make your work easier. And there is never a shift go by that i'm not crying because i'm laughing so hard about something one of my fellow aides said or did during the day.

It's an all around great work environment with amazing co-workers and residents.

I'm happy where God has lead me and trust that my choice of working as an LPN rather than a BN will be a good and rewarding one. Also, that He'll lead me in my choice to either stay in Brandon or head on out to the great west.

Pray that I do make the right choices, and that wherever I end up, whether it be Brandon, Three Hills or Brooks that I will be happy where I am and Curtis and I won't struggle with the distance.

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Tough Situation

2009-03-08T21:00:00.002-05:00

That's what I'm in. I know, I know... Why am I complaining? And my mom probably is right when she says suck it up, but I just can't seem to be able to.

Two provinces. Nine hours. Three weeks. Twenty one days.

It's too much.

I really feel bad complaining, but I need to vent somewhere, and it looks as if i've lost my audience so this seems a better place then any.

Unless you're in this situation you wouldn't know how I feel. Every twenty one days (at the earliest) I get the chance to have roughly five days with my best friend. That's it. Five days... nothing more. And for those five days I am truly me. I can't explain it... After spending almost two years without even muttering a word to him I find he's still my favorite. He makes me laugh, smile and just be me in a way no one else can.

Then, at the end of our time we say our tearful good-byes knowing we have another twenty one days to endure. This is the part that I know most people just won't get... While watching him drive away I can feel myself getting more sad the farther west he gets. I don't know why... Well I do, but what I don't get is why I can't shake it. I go to bed telling myself "make tomorrow better than today". But I just can't. I wake up just as upset as I was falling asleep.

So maybe the reason I just can't shake the sad is because I'm not where I belong. Maybe where I belong is two provinces, nine hours away. With my best friend.

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Long time no see...

2009-03-02T22:30:00.002-06:00

It's been quiet a while since I posted and I don't think I have very much to say.

So lets see...

I'm changing my life. Or atleast the road I'm going down. Hello college, here I come! Yeah, that's right. I've applied for and am waiting for acceptance to ACC for the LPN program. It feels what I should be doing in my life right now. Who wants to do five years of school to come out with qualifications for a job I don't even want. Plus for other reason I need to get out of this town and don't want to be stuck here for four more years. Besides, I think
I'd be suicidal if I did four more years.
Went to Banff. Stayed at an amazing hotel. Ate way too much. Was almost killed on a mountain by a crazy German and Curtis. Haha. But seriously... It was nice to have that time with Curtis.
I am a Wii Fit addict. Enough said.
I am coming to greatly appreciate my friends and the newness of our relationships. I really enjoy our conversations and becoming a new me, with new people.
Curtis. I don't know what to say. We've been through alot but it's as if it's now we're truly meant to be together. Whether it's because we're older, more mature, or it's really is the right time I don't know... but I'm happy and that's what truly matters.

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I've found it.

2009-02-15T23:38:00.001-06:00

Hmmm...

2009-02-11T10:13:00.004-06:00

The road that I want to take seems to be blocked. And if I wanted to really badly I could un-block it, but maybe there is a reason why I can't gain access? Maybe it's blocked for me to finally realize "yeah... maybe not."

But I don't want to realize that. This is 100% what I want, though I'm getting the feeling it's not what He wants. This where my heart and head get mixed up. My heart is saying go for it, make the sacrifices you know you'll be happy... and I would be. Then there's my head that's say "Come on Jodi, you know what you should do."

But maybe, this is the time that little ol' me, far from being a risk taker, should take that risk? Do what feels right. It might be a struggle, but I know that without a doubt I will be happy and maybe that's what counts in the long run?

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Rant of the Day...

2009-02-07T12:00:00.002-06:00

I can't stand immaturity. It is just one of those things that really makes me angry. I don't know why.

Hiding from your problems/Blaming your problems on others/Not taking action to change your circumstances/Poking your nose in other's business/Jumping to conclusions/Not knowing the whole story and picking sides

I don't know if you'd call it maturity... Though from a grown person it seems pretty immature.

Yeah... I don't think i've gotten my point across very clear, but oh well.

Back to the books.

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Staple It Together, Call It Bad Weather

2009-02-02T10:09:00.002-06:00

I love Jack Johnson. I've always been a fan, but now that Taylor Swift is getting old I've started listening to him non-stop. I love his songs.

Upbeat, good lyrics and happy. Unlike Taylor, he writes about a lot of different stuff not just love.

So, in a matter of hours I will be back playing the waiting game. Oh joy! Though this time the wait will only be 2 weeks and 2 days. That's it. That's all.

And even though my head is thinking, wow... that's a pretty short time my heart is still not going to take it well. I dout it'll ever get easier.

Well, it would if Alberta would move to Manitoba.

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Fun Stuff

2009-01-27T11:41:00.002-06:00

Curtis and Josh we're racing on the Wii Fit, and it was just way to funny. I had to take a picture.

Waiting

2009-01-24T22:32:00.002-06:00

From day one I hated the wait and now it's come down to the very last day of waiting. (Atleast for this go around).

I started by counting weeks, then days, then hours, and now minutes. I've lost a lot of sleep and tears waiting. Neither of which I regret. And now it comes down to this... Minutes!

Soon enough i'll be counting the seconds after my buzzer goes. My heart will feel like it's going to burst from all the excitement and knowing that in a matter of seconds i'm going to be to happiest i've been in a month.

And all because of what you ask?

A certain special somoene.

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Christmas

2009-01-23T09:20:00.002-06:00

What if Christmas was a random day, that you never knew when it would happen? Like you'd sit around week after week, or day after day waiting for Christmas, not knowing when it was gonig to come.

That is my life right now. I don't know when Christmas is coming. I want it to happen soon but unfortunately I'm not in control... So whoever is in control of bringing Christmas better hurry up before I get bored and start caring about the Easter Bunny instead.

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Aaah!

2009-01-22T19:37:00.002-06:00

Three more sleeps!!!

I don't think I can actually put into words how excited I am. Beyond excited.

I don't really have much to say other than that.

I officially hate A&P. Like more than anything... ever. I can't wait to be done with it and completely forget about it. Only three and a half more months. There will be nothing get in my way of being finished with this the first time, forget about doing it a second time!

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Faves

2009-01-18T12:51:00.004-06:00

P.S. Go to http://www.postsecret.blogspot.com/ and read the incerdibly cute proposal story at the end. And no.. I didn't cry. Well maybe.
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Silence in the Noise

2009-01-15T19:39:00.002-06:00

At YA on Tuesday night we watched a Nooma about noise. It talked about how our society has consant noise going. Take me for example. I wake up to music. Leave it on while getting ready. My car stereo is constantly playing. When i'm at uni I have my iPod in any free moment, back to my car and stereo and when I get home my iPod goes back on. I then end the night with music while falling asleep. So how in all that noise do I hear God's voice? If i'm constantly belting out lyrics and singing my heart out, which can be good worship, how am I to hear that small voice?

Well, as I drove home from Virden yesterday I shut off my music and listened. Although I never heard anything I was brought to tears almost instantly. Yeah, it was an emotional day but nearly the second I shut off that music there was a different noise, me... crying. So maybe that music in my car is there distracting me from what I'm feeling deep down, cause really who wouldn't feel good listening to Audio A?

Then yesterday Morgan and I headed to Providence for a concert. I kind of knew the band, but I'm far from being a huge fan. Though in the middle of drums, guitars and vocals I heard a voice. Not in my silent car all by myself but in a room full of "noise" is where I hear a voice. And this voice is saying to me "Jodi, breathe. You're mine and you'll be just fine." It's when I need it the most and when I least expect it that I hear what I needed too.

Sometimes makes you wonder if He's up there laughing thinking, "Well finally I got her attention."

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One Year. 365 Days.

2009-01-13T13:08:00.006-06:00

Tomorrow marks one year, fifty two weeks, three hundred sixty five days, eight thousand seven hundred sixty five hours. A lot can happen in that amount of time. Moments of sheer happiness or moments of absolute sadness. I will never forget Monday, Januray 14 2007. I will never forget the sadness and shock felt in that moment of total disbelief.

I don't think that one of those hours has past without a thought, a memory or a tear. I hope that as the years, weeks, days and hours continue to go on that the pain with lessen and the memories continue to live. It's those memories that keep you smiling.

You can shed tears that she is gone,

or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,

or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her and only that she's gone or

you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back,
or you can do what she would want:

SMILE, OPEN YOUR EYES, LOVE AND GO ON

May you have a blessed day

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Absent

2009-01-10T16:11:00.002-06:00

I took down my Christmas tree today and actually felt really sad while doing it. I guess i've just been sad lately.

I know you're probably thinking "suck it up", and I should. But, it's like I can't. Yeah, there are temprorary feelings of happiness, but I dunno, I just can't kick the sad. lol

miss: to notice or regret the absense or loss of

I'm definately noticing the absence.

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My Lips Hurt Real Bad

2009-01-09T09:54:00.002-06:00

This is an awesome devotional I just found, talking about how you can complain all you want, but really it's not going to change anything. Action is what creates change.

Napoleon just wants to go home early. He's had a rough day at school already, dealing with Don's mockery and Randy's outright bullying. He just had his head banged against a locker, and he wants out.
So he calls Kip and starts trying to talk Kip into getting him out of there. Kip is obviously very busy right that second with, and this is an educated guess, making the biggest plate of nachos ever. We all know Kip refuses to come pick him up, so Napoleon makes a desperate last-ditch attempt to get Kip to the school, presumably to talk him into taking him home.
He has chapped lips. And they hurt real bad.
Napoleon is grasping at straws, hoping his complaining will be enough to get Kip out there.
Kip is having none of it, though, and leaves Napoleon hanging out to dry, forcing him to finish his school day.
How do you think Napoleon feels about himself here? He's been openly mocked, bullied in front everybody and rejected by his own brother. We're guessing the self-esteem meter isn't really maxed out at the moment.
Let's pretend we have a working time machine and that we can travel way back to about 1400 b.c. This was around the time the children of Israel had just escaped from their Egyptian enslavement. For 400 years, they'd been living under a severely oppressive regime in Egypt—forced into very difficult labor and seen as second-class citizens. Then, Moses came along as God's representative and miraculously led them out of Egypt and into the wilderness, where they were on their way to the Promised Land.
And then they started complaining. Complain, complain, complain. "We have no food." God provided food. "This food is boring; we want meat." God provided meat. Wah, wah, wah. On and on.
But my lips hurt real bad.
The Israelites spent much of their time in the wilderness grumbling and complaining, and God would have none of it. Because of their bad attitudes and lack of trust, he kept them in the wilderness for 40 years before leading their descendants into the Promised Land.
Turns out it was the best thing God could have done for them. Because when it came time for them to go into the Promised Land, they discovered it was already populated, so they were forced to fight for it. By spending 40 years in the wilderness, they had a desire for the land that helped them put aside their pettiness and get to the business of taking their land. They wouldn't have any room for complaining about this and that—they needed to band together and fight. Plus, they'd just spent that whole time learning to trust God to provide food and water for them, so God-trust was now second nature to them; good thing, because they would need it.
Kip wouldn't listen to Napoleon's complaining. Unlike God, Kip couldn't see the whole picture and had no idea what his refusal would do to Napoleon.
Turns out it was the best thing Kip could have done for him.
Napoleon hangs up the phone and immediately stumbles on Principal Svadean trying to direct Pedro to his locker. Napoleon strikes up a conversation, shows Pedro where his locker is located and soon finds himself at Pedro's house taking the Sledgehammer on some sweet jumps.
Imagine the self-esteem boost Napoleon got when he extended a hand of friendship to Pedro and saw that hand welcomed. Imagine the faith boost the Israelites got when they finally entered their land and started winning battles.
Action, not complaint, is what changed their lives.
So maybe this reminder from the Israelites can help the next time you face a frustrating situation. It's tempting to complain, and there's nothing wrong with a little venting. But those complaints will do nothing to change the situation; action will. Ask God what action you should take, if any, and then trust that he—not your tongue or bad attitude—will turn the situation around for you.

-Jeff Dunn and Adam Palmer

2009-01-06T18:50:00.002-06:00

What to say... Well i'm pumped for YA tonight. It's always a good time. Lots of laugh and really good fellowship. I enjoy it. It's cool to relate to others my age and know i'm not really that "different".

So I got my nails done (thanks to Curtis) and they sure look spiffy. Though as I was sitting there having the very nice Vietnamese man do them, it made me said. He said he's been in Canada for a long time but Vietnam is still home. I can't even imagine moving to a whole different country let alone one that's a completely different culture. I would love to know what he thinks of all us crazy "white women" who spend way to much money for what we call "beautiful"

That's all i've got...

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Good-Byes

2009-01-05T12:06:00.002-06:00

I really didn't think a good bye could be that hard. Like seriously, it's not long.

Three weeks.

Twenty one days.

But still... it just hit me really hard. I have no explanation for it. Emotions that I don't remember ever having came out and they were definately ones that I would've preferred not have.

Oh well. I'll have to find somehow to pass away the time. School is the obvious first choice, but after a while who wants to do school 24/7. Since Nikki's gone too, Morgan better be ready for some hard core hang outs. Haha. (If you're reading this Morgan, I'm just kidding.... well kind of.)

But yeah, this next three weeks is definately not going to be what I call fun. Though, I guess it'll be what I choose to make it. If I decided i'm going to mope around all day every day then obviously it's not going to be a fun time. But if I decided to make the best of it then it can't be that bad.

Maybe constant blogs will make the time fly by?

Peace & Love

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New Year

2009-01-02T11:58:00.002-06:00

As this New Year is here I, like a lot of others, look back on the past year.

Yeah, there were some pretty amazing times this past year and also some not so amazing ones. Yeah, there were ups and downs. And yeah, there might be some people questioning my own choices from the past year. Personally I don't care. It is my life and my choices and mistakes to make. No one else's.

And, for those of you who care I am happy. I do not regret anything that has happened. Why regret, when it can't be changed. And if this all turns out to be a big mistake, go ahead and tell me "I told you so." because it doesn't really matter.

Also for those of you who think I have no remorse you've obviously never sat down and talked to me because those few who have, and who know my deepest feelings know there is remorse and empathy.

This past year has made me grow into my faith so much more. I've realized now that I can't be that strong hold for a person. Yes, I can help them stand while wobbly but I can't be their rock. I need to be walking my walk with me and God and not needing anyone standing beside peering over my shoulder. It's a personal relationship, not a party relationship.

Most importantly this past year has shown me who I want to be, where I want to be, and with who I want to be with.

I wish you all a blessed New Year.

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A card laid is a card played.

2008-12-16T13:41:00.000-06:00

Once you say something, you can't take it back.

There Was No Theif

2008-12-15T20:17:00.001-06:00

For a time I thought there was a thief among us

I thought I'd track him down but prior to my pursuit

The smoke had cleared and to my disbelief

There was no thief cause it was me

That lost you

I guess it's safe to say you're never coming back

And I understand why you wouldn't want to

I guess it's up to me to find a way to get to you

And there's just one last thing that I have to say

As we reflect on the mess of all of this I've made

It was cowardice that made me push you away

I was so afraid cause you were so much better than me

And I can't see you

Getting used to

Living in the midst of your perfection

And I'm so lost

How can you trust

Somewhere the sun is always shining?

2008-12-10T22:00:00.003-06:00

Christmas comes but once a year... Now it's here... Now it's here... Bringing lots of joy and fears... Tra la la la la.

I dunno if fears is right but it sounds better than tears.

So yeah... I can't believe this semester is done! Only two more exams stand between me and some free time... well atleast a bit. Imagine. I only have nine more semesters left! Sometimes it scares the crap of out me though that I might not make it... Tonnes of people apply to second year nursing and tonnes don't get it. What if that's me?!!! Aaaaah.

Anyho... unlike Nikki and Kyle I don't really have any New Year's Resolutions... yet. Maybe i'll get around to it.

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Embrace

2008-12-04T16:37:00.003-06:00

At YA we're looking at... a series I guess you could call it, called Nooma. This past Tuesday was titled "Today". Pretty much it was all about how you can't be so attached to "the yester years" and for you to be open to embrace today and the challenges and opportunities that can come about.

It really made me think... I thought in August that moving to Brandon was going to be the worst event of my life. I really thought I wouldn't adjust, make no friends and would be better off in good ol' Strath. But... Now, four months in I have made tons of new friends, two of which I can't even imagine life without, I have a church I love attending and just generally love life. I can't imagine constantly looking back on life just a few short months ago because I wouldn't be open to the change that I had to go through.

So if you're stuck in a rut wishing it was still way back when, get out! You might wake up some day and realize you missed out on some of the best years of your life wishing for the worst years back again.

2008-11-26T00:22:00.001-06:00

Don't tell God how big your storm is, tell the storm how big your God is!

And... that's all I have to say.

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2008-11-24T23:07:00.002-06:00

I'm at a point of total frusturation, but I don't know why... I should be completely flipping out about the lab exam coming up, but all i have is this slight worry. Probably not good, doesn't give me enough initiative to go and study unless i'm about to lose my mind with worry.

So, everyone should come and see the Singing Christmas Tree and Calvary Temple, though out of the possible 4 regular readers I know for sure that three of them are going... so yeah....

Why am i not sleeping! Or atleast trying.

Maybe the reason i'm not going crazy thinking about the next coupld weeks of my life is because for some reason i've just been at complete peace lately. Seriously... it's like stuff just isn't bugging me. Either i have some crazy mental illness or Someone is definately helping me out.

I hope it's the later.

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2008-11-14T11:56:00.003-06:00

School blows. My head is seriously ready to explode and I feel physically ill just thinking about what will be happening in less than an hour. Studying for a week, and still feeling not even close to being ready for my exam. Oh well. The minute it's over i'm going home to bed. Taking the rest of the day off.

Much Love

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2008-11-05T12:00:00.002-06:00

As I sat and watched Barack Obama's acceptance speech last night, I couldn't help but cry. Yes, some say he isn't the best person to fill the role as president, and some say he's the worst thing to happen to the World, let alone the US. But I'm happy.

Though i've never experienced racial segregation nor known anyone who has it's just amazing that in a country that onced allowed slavery, they now will have an African American president.

No matter what your view is on the recent election maybe you can just be happy for the thought that all people are created equally, and for once the world is seeing it.

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fresh start

2008-11-04T10:28:00.002-06:00

It's been a while... a really long while since I last blogged and to be completely honest I miss it.

Even though I never really have anything important to say, I like that I can just come on here, ramble on about nothing and have it saved for the whole world to read!! Crazy.

So, to start off my refound love of blogging i'm going to steal an idea from Morgan who stole it from someone else... a six word memoir. (Check it out: http://modesty.blogspot.com/)

.lost in herself.found in You.

What's your six word memoir?

love and peace

No Chapstick?!?!?!

2008-04-20T00:25:00.001-05:00

Shack

2008-04-08T23:52:00.002-05:00

"This book has the potential to do for our generation what John Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress did for his. It's that good!"

Eugene Peterson

Mackenzie Allen Philips' youngest daughter, Missy, has been abducted during a family vacation and evidence that she may have been brutally murdered is found in an abandoned shack deep in the Oregon wilderness. Four years later in the midst of his Great Sadness, Mack reveices a susicious note, apparently from God, inviting him back to that shack for a weekend.

Against his better judgment he arrives at the shack on a wintry afternoon and walks into his darkest nightmare. What he finds there will cahnge Mack's world forever.

In a world where religion seem to grow increasingly irrelevant The Shack wrestles with the timeles question, "Where is God in a workd so filled with unspeakable pain?" The answers Mack get will astound you and perhaps transform you as much as it did him. You'll want everyone you know to read this book!

<3

2008-03-20T23:56:00.000-05:00

2008-03-18T23:19:00.003-05:00

i went for my first walk today.
i really wish i could say run.
i tried... took three steps running and nearly broke into tears.
i guess Jan knows what she's doing.
went to Brandon with Adri today.
good times.
even though us girls sometimes have our moments i'm really going to miss them next year.
i love how Alle and Adri are so insanely silly sometimes,
and even if you are mad at them you can't help but laugh.
in case you didn't know,
i love you two with all my heart.
and just thinking about next year makes me really sad...
i'm going to miss you guys like crazy!
growing up sucks.
p.s. i need cutlery and towels

2008-02-29T17:45:00.001-06:00

oh man...

you all know the saying "you hit the nail right on the head"?

what about "hit nail squarely with a hammer"?

Distance

2008-02-29T16:35:00.000-06:00

somtimes unplanned late night road trips are the only way

2008-02-23T23:37:00.000-06:00

i cant wait...

2008-02-18T21:07:00.003-06:00

for the future.
for late night chats with coffee.
for dinner parties and fondues.
for scrabble and curling games.
I miss you three incredibly much and really don't think i could ever express my love, gratitude, thankfullness and all around enjoyment of you guys.
only 6 more months to go!!!

Penguin <3

2008-02-12T22:23:00.001-06:00

Sticks and Stones

2008-02-06T23:17:00.000-06:00

Why must you try to put others down,

just to put yourself up?

People aren't deaf to the words you say,

or blind to what you do.

Maybe if you knew half of what the other person is going through,

you'd be more understanding.

So, grow-up.

If you have something to say,

say it to my face.

Be a big girl!

This is Me. (for those of you who don't know)

2008-02-05T00:57:00.000-06:00

My name is Jodi. My mom calls me Jodi Mae.

I'm supposedly short, but i would call myself normal.

I have strawberry blonde hair, and would trade it in any day for just blonde.

I'm not your normal girl.

I've made some choices... good and bad,

I've made some memories... good and bad,

And i've made friends... good and bad.

I'm with the most amazing guy ever.

His name is Kyle,

And he lives way to far away, but we're making it work.

I've been accepted to U of W for Psychology.

I absolutely love my mom, dad and sisters and am going to miss them so incredibly much next year, but i need to go and start my life with Kyle, Eddie and Lauren helping.

I'm our grad class treasurer and Student Council President.

I guess I'm kind of a big deal.

I love this small town, but I cannot wait to leave.

I love my sisters more than anything in the world.

We have our moments, but i'm secretly scared to be without them, though i'd never admit it.

I guess you could say I'm struggling to find myself in a place I feel I don't fit in.

A perfect world would be one were ever day would be a good day for jazz, everyone would be smiling, and all day long you could hear the Beatles.

Weeks later I'm truly starting to realize the impact of my grandma's passing, and pray that I can live my life half as great as she did.

This is the new, up-to-date so-called "grown-up" Jodi.

A hopeless romantic, finding herself amid a mess of others, madly in love with a guy and very passionate about her faith and music.

THIS IS ME!

Late Night Talks With Adri

2008-02-05T00:46:00.000-06:00

Adri's Thoughts

"Post Secrets are amazing... I think they could really help our school. Or not. Who know... but we should still try. It'll be fun. My hand is disgusting."

Jodi's Thougths

"Why can't I be ugly? Wow, Crown of Love is a good song. I like coffee."

<3

2008-02-04T15:03:00.000-06:00